God. Help. Me.

Today I went to meet my old boss from my PR firm days. I needed to meet her because I need life guidance. Because right now my job? Not the one I want. The friend scene. Dry. The boyfriend scene? Bone dry. I can't figure out what I even want to do even if I had absolutely no restrictions in life. Can't even come up with a dream job - because I don't know what my dream is.

I've wanted to be a teacher for so long that when I finally realized that wasn't what I wanted to do I became lost. I tried... actually god knows what my first job was about, I tried PR and now I do advising and a whole lot of admin and it sucks. I mean I guess it doesn't inherently suck but it sucks because it's not what I'm supposed to do.

RJ, my ex boss, says that I have very high expectations and that I should probably lower them. I disagree. I think she's right that I have unrealistic expectations but I think that maybe I have to amend them instead of lowering them.

Before I can do that I need to, in her words, figure out what drives me and also what my goals are. My Dad also thinks that I need to note down what I cannot compromise on, ex. sleep.

I keep playing the hour long conversation I had with RJ in my head. I feel like she didn't completely get me or who I am. But at this point that doesn't even matter because I'm the one who has to know me and figure me out and decide what I want to do. I need to put down on paper what I'm thinking. Do a SWOT comparison for my life. And just figure shit out. But also stop overanalyzing and go with the flow. Right.

RJ said that I could be one of those people who just goes from job to job. But I know that I can't do that. I also know that I can't go back to hardcore PR. Where the fuck does that leave me?

Before I went to see her I was so convinced that I was going to go to NUS, do my MBA, join some bank and do internal corporate comm. And now I think I could still do all those things but they're just shots in the dark because I have no idea what I want or why I want it.

Oh god. Help me.