NEWS!

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with my blog. Life kind of got in the way. I actually bought a ton of stuff which I'm supposed to put up, but haven't. But that can wait, because I have news - I got into Nanyang Technological University for their Master of Mass Communication program! Which is amazing and rad and totally scary.

It's amazing because I got in, woot woot! Means I'm all smart and amazing. It's rad because I'll be living in Singapore which I love as a city. It's scary because it means that after working full time for three years and living in Malaysia with my parents I have to move and live alone. And actually study. Something I didn't do too much of at McGill.

So far I've actually resigned from my work. My last week should be the last week of July. Classes start in August. I've applied for housing but its not guaranteed since demand is far greater than the supply and they give priority to grad students who are doing research. And I'm a coursework student. That majorly sucks because Singapore is incredibly expensive to stay in. I'm talking SD800 for a room in an apartment per month which would come up to something like RM2000 which you could use to rent an entire house in Malaysia.

In addition to that I'm having to think about buying all my toiletries here so that I don't waste money, and that probably means dipping into my savings since I don't feel like asking my Dad to cover me for that stuff. Anyway I hope I get a part time job in Singapore so that at least after a month I can cover food, entertainment and the rest of the toiletries for my remaining time there.

I also have to apply for my student pass and everything else but yeah I'm excited, freaked and also feeling the inevitable feeling of being super poor that's going to accompany this adventure :P

I'm 24!!!

I turned 24 on the 5th of August (AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it turned out to be one of the best days I've had in a long time.

Recently, as evidenced by my blog posts, I've been majorly angsty because I basically I HAVE NO IDEA what the hell I want to do in life. As in my career. So I talked to my old boss and the new boss and the parents and and and... it just got messy, in my head. Should I be a teacher? Should I do corporate comm? Should I write? Should I do HR? And everything is just as valid an option as the other.

But RJ, the boss put some things into perspective, about adapting my expectations. The new boss says that I am logical and that I need a degree of freedom in my work. And then there's me who knows I can't do 18 hour days and who knows that I need a certain amount of money to function happily in life. There's the fact that I like glamor and recognition but also need a somewhat balanced life. Also I must get past the fact that I have a certain ahem, problem, with authority.

Anyway after much soul searching and sleepless nights I've decided to apply to do a Masters in Mass Communications at Nanyang Technological University which would start next August. In the meantime I'm going to explore freelance writing and keep my eyes peeled for corp comm jobs in multinationals. And I'm going to chill, go with the flow and also try not be so in my head all the bloody time.

Wait - back to my birthday. I was feeling super sorry for myself the day before my birthday because I thought no one would give a shit and that I wouldn't get any presents or whatever. Anyway it turns out basically everyone remembered, thanks in part to Facebook, and I got like wish after wish after wish on Facebook and in person. One of the lecturers bought me my favorite Starbucks beverage, a Caramel Macchiato, and the parents came through which money (hee!) and a delicious dinner at Delicious. We had salad, pesto spaghettini with grilled chicken and banoffee pie and banana pudding with vanilla ice cream for dessert. It was amazing. Also Katie totally called while I was at dinner and Cilla remembered to email despite having to work for 13 and a half hours on the day.

So that entire day I just felt completely suffused with love. It was just lovely. I really just want to thank my family, friends, colleagues and God for making it a fantastic day. Here's to 24! May I be less confused and more thankful!

God. Help. Me.

Today I went to meet my old boss from my PR firm days. I needed to meet her because I need life guidance. Because right now my job? Not the one I want. The friend scene. Dry. The boyfriend scene? Bone dry. I can't figure out what I even want to do even if I had absolutely no restrictions in life. Can't even come up with a dream job - because I don't know what my dream is.

I've wanted to be a teacher for so long that when I finally realized that wasn't what I wanted to do I became lost. I tried... actually god knows what my first job was about, I tried PR and now I do advising and a whole lot of admin and it sucks. I mean I guess it doesn't inherently suck but it sucks because it's not what I'm supposed to do.

RJ, my ex boss, says that I have very high expectations and that I should probably lower them. I disagree. I think she's right that I have unrealistic expectations but I think that maybe I have to amend them instead of lowering them.

Before I can do that I need to, in her words, figure out what drives me and also what my goals are. My Dad also thinks that I need to note down what I cannot compromise on, ex. sleep.

I keep playing the hour long conversation I had with RJ in my head. I feel like she didn't completely get me or who I am. But at this point that doesn't even matter because I'm the one who has to know me and figure me out and decide what I want to do. I need to put down on paper what I'm thinking. Do a SWOT comparison for my life. And just figure shit out. But also stop overanalyzing and go with the flow. Right.

RJ said that I could be one of those people who just goes from job to job. But I know that I can't do that. I also know that I can't go back to hardcore PR. Where the fuck does that leave me?

Before I went to see her I was so convinced that I was going to go to NUS, do my MBA, join some bank and do internal corporate comm. And now I think I could still do all those things but they're just shots in the dark because I have no idea what I want or why I want it.

Oh god. Help me.

Hey-Hey-HEEYYYY

So I know it's been awhile since I have written ANYTHING for this blog. And I actually have a good reason. A few good reasons actually. Last weekend on my way home from The Curve my car got hit my a motorcycle which fled the scene(!), the next day I had to go to the police station and make the report in my super rudimentary Malay, the day after I had to pick up my police report and the day after that I realized I was having a crisis over what I want in my life/job/career/etc.

So. Not that much time to blog in the meantime. But I'm back now!

So basically last weekend I went to The Curve with Ching Wen and Lae to celebrate Ching Wen's birthday. It was fabulously fun, we ate at this German place with good beer and sausages. We also watched The Prince of Persia, which I personally thought was awesome. I know that the critics have been ravaging it but seriously what's not to like? Crazy action sequences? Check. Bad boy hero with a heart of gold? Check. Dirty hot heroine? Check and check. So really it was all good.

My police report was really just an ordeal. I had to go to Petaling Jaya to make the police report and I had to write it Malay which was mad hard. Thankfully the sergeant who interviewed me was this woman who was kind of awesome and my interview evolved into this conversation about cross dressing. All in Malay. Hyeah!

Speaking of Malay... there's this song by Mizz Nina and Colby O'Donis which has pretty much been in my head for the past two weeks. It's super catchy BUT it does maybe have one of the stupidest videos I've ever seen. Judge it for yourself:



What is with the flashlights?!!

I spent most of today cleaning, ordering awesome awesome stuff from Amazon, EBAY and Nordstrom to send to my uncle's place in Alabama so that it's super convenient when we get there. I'll do a detailed post when I get back with all my goodies.

I've also been spending a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to do in life. Right now my job is kind of an in between. In between what I want to do and where I want to be. I'm supposed to be doing a part time Masters this July onwards but now I'm thinking maybe I should do a full time MBA in Singapore or maybe I should reassess what I need/want/should do entirely. I'm just not sure. Hence my crisis.

Anyway I better sleep now since I do have work tomorrow. I swear I will be doing a make-up review soon - so watch out for it!

Don't stop till you get enough

Today my irritability came to an end. Which happened because basically today was one of those days when everything just went wrong. Like it's really hot, I was sweating really hard, my skin is terrible, I couldn't get enough done at work and then this student who was just SO SLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW came and needed me to run around and do things and it was so difficult because he talked slow, couldn't keep up with how fast I was walking and just everything - and I just kept getting more and more angry until a light basically went off in my head.

I was like, ok, this guy has been sent to me for a reason to basically let me know that hey, the more irritated you get the more things are going to mess up for you. The more the universe is going to make your life harder. So you just need to chill.

And then it was like I just stopped being a jackass and breathed in deep and I've been fine ever since. Which is fabulous.

So then when I came home this evening I told my mom about my epiphany and how fantastic it all was. She loved me story, praised me for what a clever girl I am. I then told her the story again. And again. At which point it was no longer as interesting and she was also no longer as impressed.

Which brings me to another realization that I'm just one of those people who doesn't understand that sometimes saying less is saying more. And if I get a laugh from a joke, I'll say it twice more just to see if it'll get more laughs. Which it never does because at that point, it's old. But do I get that? Nope. I mean it's been 24 years and I'm still that person that repeats stories, over and over and over. I should have learnt not to do that by now.

But I haven't. Haha.

What I really, really want.

Right now I want
























a yellow pencil skirt

to be content even if nothing exciting is happening


















THIS Chanel Glossimer Gloss

my parents to reach some kind of truce over the squabbling they've been doing our planned US trip
























a flared white skirt

to do more in a day and yet keep it all together

























crisp white shirts for my work wardrobe

to actually reach out and connect with new people and reconnect with existing friends





















to sleep 8 hours a night
















to buy my MAC brushes now!

to be good and reasonable even when the irrational demon inside me wants to be disagreeable for no reason other than the fact that I can.

That's what I want right now.

A quick one

What this blog post needs to be since I need some zzzs desperately. I haven't been sleeping that well this week so far. I'm not sure what it is, I feel a big disconnect between where my head should be and where it is.

Things are going well. I've:
1. Talked the boss about my future - all good stuff
2. Finished applying for my masters
3. I'm actually working out and losing weight
4. I bought the Dior Palette I wanted!!!

I just don't know what's up. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep. So that's why this needs to be quick.

So I bought Crush Glow and so far I'm feeling a bit eh about it.

Two reasons for that I think.

1. The saleswoman was a BITCH. She spent like 15 minutes with the woman who was there before me, barely acknowledging my presence, then attended to the second customer (who fine, was before me) and then when I finally talked to her and told her that hey I've called you before can I please have my eyeshadow, she was all like "Uh... yeah it needs to be brought in from the store" and then proceeded to attend to an older and presumably much richer looking person than me. I thought hey maybe someone is getting my eyeshadow for me. Not so. After she gave that woman her stuff she went to the storeroom and got my palette. I was waiting for literally like 30 minutes. I am never going back to that Dior counter ever, which is sad because it's in Parkson, like 10 minutes for my house.

2. The colors don't seem to pop on my skin. They're pretty but it doesn't seem like its actually showing up. Which might partly be because my brushes suck and also because I don't have eyeshadow primer. I'm debating between ordering Urban Decay Primer Potion from Sephora when I visit the US or just picking up Smashbox Photo Finish Lid Primer from Pavilion.

What to do, what to do...

I'll leave you with terrible pictures of my Dior quint. I had to document my first ever quint!


With the box

It comes with a soft pouch thing

The hard outside case...

...and the lovely colors inside... I dunno... I really want to love it but right now I'm just not feeling it.

Feelin like Switzerland!

Ahoy! I decided that I should do a blog post BUT it turns out after days of me being frustrated at everyone in my path and a tension filled house I am now completely just at peace and kind of want to sleep - BUT I swore that I would use this blog to record things even if they are tiresome and mundane so...

I finally finished reading The Swan Thieves, and it was really good. It took me forever but I think that's just because the pace of the book was generally slow. I didn't have very high hopes for it because I really disliked Kostova's The Historian but this book was different. Though it was as contrived as her first book I just really enjoyed the story and the characters and the way the whole mystery unfolded. I definitely also had the urge to figure out if the historical figures in the novel are real (they're not) and if basically I could cross reference it in any way against history (doable). I think Kostova did a much better job of not making the story too academic which is what I think was the main flaw of The Historian. Reviewers however disagree and fault her prose and her characterization but I'm very forgiving of those kinds of flaws in text so I guess I didn't notice.

I have not found out about Mandarin classes yet. I know! And I haven't called Sra or emailed my old Malay teacher or other people... I'm putting it off. I don't know why. Sometimes I think I just feel like God, It's going to be so awkward I don't want to do this, so I just FORGET even though I wouldn't usually. My subconscious is totally helping myself sabotage myself. Bad Dini. But I must get in touch with people soon so that I don't end up a spinster with 10 cats. I wouldn't mind a cat though.

Man, I really don't have much to say! This is bad. I really want to do a huge blog post on all the make-up I want to buy and my favorite make-up bloggers but I'm way too sleepy. I know that I need to go to bed.

Oh and today I ate lunch with my mum today so I'm not a COMPLETE loser.

Operation: Turn My Frown Upside Down

It has been a tough couple of days. I know that in my last post, or wait, last, last post I touched on how I feel like my life is passing me by, I have no friends, basically that my life sucks. And then I resolved that I would find a way to break out of my rut.

Which I did. Well kind of.

First, I felt really sorry for myself. Became borderline depressed. Was not able to retain a smile on my face at work which is really unacceptable for me. And then my lunch partner, who I honestly am really sick of, wanted to stop having lunch with me, probably because I've been kind of passive aggressive to her and just disinterested, which made me a bit lonely and sad because now I have NO ONE to eat with. Which is mildly depressing when lunch is usually the bit you're supposed to look forward to at work. But no, I look forward to the work.

And then I thought about how I basically haven't done anything much in life, despite being relatively smart. That I'm not really living up to my potential. And that I honestly feel like I'm just sad and lonely.

I managed to snap myself out of that funk though and really thought about it and figured out that the best way to get over it is to actually do something and to get busy. So here was the plan:

1. Get back in touch with people from WAO, do some volunteer work on the weekend
2. Join a salsa class
3. Look up potential dream companies/careers with L'oreal, etc.
4. Plan a vacation
5. Work out everyday
6. Do Back exercises everyday
7. Actually DO work at work instead of Googling or reading Beauty Blogs
8. Try to find a new lunch partner/be brave about eating alone

I did brilliantly yesterday. I e-mailed WAO people, sent my Masters recommendations off, DID work at work, was ok about eating alone.

Today was an EPIC fail. No one emailed me back. I realized I can't do salsa because my back still isn't up to it. Got irritated at my Dad because he wants to stay in an apartment in Singapore instead of a hotel. Did not work out. Was not great at work. Still have no lunch partner. Had to eat alone hunched over a novel.

And mostly I'm just very angry and very frustrated. Frustrated that I just can't seem to get out of this. Frustrated that I can't seem to make friends. Frustrated that I am not getting enough out of my job. And I'm mostly just angry that I'm frustrated and angry at everything. I just can't seem to be happy anymore and I don't know why.

I don't want to be difficult with my parents, I want to be good at work, I want to be nice and peaceable and lovely to be around.

Maybe it's just my way of telling myself that I've taken it easy for too long and that something needs to be done. I just need to find a way to be at peace with myself while I get there.

Which is why I'm writing this now. Diane von Furstenberg once said that, if you keep a diary, it will keep you." And I'm hoping to God that this keeps me because I feel like I'm going insane and that no one is helping because they can't and also because I don't want them to.

It's funny, the first year of my blog I literally could not put anything personal down. Now that it's been a year I'm pouring out my actual emotions. It mirrors the way I am with people. Very friendly, cheery and carefree initially and then later, the real messy, moody me comes out.

I better go. I think I am feeling better. Like the word vomit on this webpage is enough to stave off the madness. I hope so anyway.

The thing about blogging...

is that every once in a while you can get a FANTASTIC idea for a post that you just know would really capture the essence of you OR is something you know that you have to share with the world OR is something that might actually interest your readers/the world (one would hope). And then you go and do about 80 million other things, go to sleep and then the next day at around 10:30pm right before you go to sleep you decide to do your blog post.

Ahem.

As you can imagine, this isn't working out so well for me right now. I'm a wee bit tired and all my amazing ideas I imagined yesterday are gone. So why didn't I just do it yesterday? Plain laziness. And now this blog post, much like my others is just going to be an exercise in being trite.

So I'm going to try and maybe type down some of these actual important thoughts I was having. It's important because well, blogging is a form of diary-keeping, as I was advised in Camilla Morton's A Year in High Heels. And since I think that book is brilliant and I'm trying to live my life by adhering to its rules of fabulosity ala Kimora Lee Simmons, I've decided that I must try to inject some actual emotion and realness into my blog.

The first thing is that recently I've been feeling like my life has been passing me by. I'm sure it was prompted by the fact that I was at home for two whole weeks which wasn't too hot. Now that I'm back at work I've realized that although I love my colleagues and the environment, the job itself is too administrative and that I need more of a challenge. Hence the masters plan. But then there's also the fact that I just don't get out that much. I have 3 friends in this country and we hardly ever hang out. It's also not that level of friendship where you share everything, like all your fears, your family problems, all the crazy messed up insecurities in your mind. And I think the absence of that kind of friendship, here in the same country as me, means that there's a bit of a void in my life. But then on the other hand my family is here which I obviously didn't have at McGill which created a whole bunch of other issues which only Gilda, the wonder therapist, could help me deal with.

BTW I'm listening to Luda's Battle of the Sexes, it's not bad, kind of bangin'.

And then there's the whole I don't have a boyfriend thing. At this point it's becoming a bit of a tick-tock issue because there doesn't seem to be a solution in sight. Because my parents don't know people, my brothers don't know people they could potentially introduce me to and my friends... what friends?! So as you can imagine the situation is just DIRE. Which is freaking me out on so many levels. It's one thing to pretend being ok with being single for the rest of your life and then a whole other thing to ACTUALLY be single.

Like right now I'm feeling so AHHHHHHHH about the whole situation that I'm actually messaging some random person who accidentally messaged me because he thought I was his friend. And just because I happen to be Indian and he's Indian we're not in the midst of a texting conversation. I know! I'm going to tell him to go away in about two seconds.

But you see?! What I've been reduced to?

I also feel like this intense in my bones boredom that has pervaded my entire being. Probably because everyday I go to work, watch a bit of tv, read a bit of a book and sleep. On weekends I do the same exact thing, without the work bit.

See. Dire.

A plan must be set in motion to break me out of this rut. But what? I'll figure it out. (my new catchphrase btw)

Update. I just told my messager that I think he might be a serial killer. At least I know how to have fun. Hee hee.

Le Weekend

Passed by quick enough... THANK GOD. Actually it wasn't that bad. Yesterday started off bad - brothers in a bad mood, mum overloaded with work as usual. But then after we went out for lunch at the Coconut Flower Seafood Restaurant in Klang, everyone kind of got a little better. And dinner at home with cake from RT, the best bakery ever, and Cadbury's Creamy Vanilla ice-cream was surprisingly fun. I think my family works best when there are other people in the mix. Ie. Friends, extended family, etc.

Oh yeah, and I wanted to say I think that one of the dudes that I was set up with, by that set-up thing since I'm incompetent at finding a man, was totally at the restaurant. Thankfully I completely didn't acknowledge him or tell anyone about it so it didn't become a thing.

Other than that I watched a bit of Top Model today and watched trailers on Apple. I really want to watch The Kids Are All Right and I was completely repulsed/slightly morbidly interested in The Human Centipede. But I doubt I'm going to watch that shit. And when I mean shit...

I think I'm also going to start doing make-up reviews on this blog, not that that's really the point of this blog but more like because I want to and I also think sometimes when a person is looking for reviews of a product and they search for it and its not on their fav beauty blogs then I could fill that niche. Maybe. Probably not.

Got it!

So today I completely caved and bought the Bobbi Brown blush in Nectar. It was like RM85 which was kinda ok except I thought it was RM70 but then that's actually the price for eyeshadow so ANYWAY I feel a bit poor now but what are you going to do? It is so gorgeous and so pink and so different from my other shade which is Almond. And I'm so happy because now I can wear this and be all like happy! and sassy! and girly! So I'm really pleased.

I've also been back to work for about 3 days now. I'm super tired by the end of the day but I guess I'll get used to it soon. It's just a matter of getting back into the routine.

Also my brother's birthday is tomorrow, we're celebrating by doing lunch outside and a family dinner with cake. I'm a little afraid that it's going to be disastrous because often times when we all get together it just isn't pretty. But then maybe I should expect it to go well because if I do then maybe it just will. Like if you expect the worse then you get the worse so if you expect the best out of people they will be their best. Kind of like the smile and the whole world will smile with you concept.

Chickenpox Quarantine: Day 2

So today, I didn't really do all the fun stuff I was supposed to do but it turned out to be kind of a productive day. Sort of.

Today I:

1. Started reading Marian Keyes' Last Chance Saloon, almost done, I'll finish it right before I go to bed. It's probably my second favorite book by her. Love the whole Katherine/Joe storyline, like their chemistry just flies off the pages at you.

2. Typed up a quiz for my mum's work. I'm so happy I could help because of two reasons; one because I am a WAY faster typist and two because I can actually feel useful for a change.

3. Tried to watch the first episode of the 10th season of Dancing With The Stars. I wanted to do it because I find that I have an inexplicable fascination with Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls. Since she's going to be on it... well... I had to try to watch it. Alas, it was such utter crap that I just couldn't. I fast forwarded through the whole damn thing and frankly its just not worth wasting my life to watch her dance for two minutes. I'll just go download the Beep video and watch it again. Speaking of...



4. I just watched The Mist, this mildly terrible and yet strangely compelling horror/monster flick. Thomas Jane is the hero and basically everyone is stuck in this hardware store while a mysterious AND deadly mist falls over this small town. It's extremely ridiculous but there are some legitimate actors in this movie like Mr Jane, like I mentioned before, and Marcia Gay Harden and the prettiest woman EVER, Alexa Davalos.



That's about it for today. I'm super worried about my uncle in the States who seems to be getting sicker and also over some other family stuff which I won't air on the internet. So I'm pray-pray-praying and would really appreciate it if you could send good vibes my family's way.

Itchin' the night away...

So. I have the chickenpox. Like actually, actually. It is ridiculous because firstly, I never actually thought I could get it since I dodged the bullet once when I roomed with Vicky on a trip to Greece and Turkey and she got chicken pox immediately after and I was fine. Mostly because I had had the chicken pox vaccine when I was around 11. Turns out that damn vaccine is temporary. So here I am 23, with chickenpox. So far its on my back and chest. Hopefully it will stay confined there, I'm guessing any new pocks are going to be cropping up in these next few days.

My doctor told me that it was like a compulsory holiday. Which would be fine if I was not confined to my room and compulsively washing my hands every few minutes. Which I am. I'm guessing I'm going to be out of commission for about two weeks which is what my doctor predicts. I'm not actually that sick, I'm mostly just nauseous and have a mild fever. Man. I guess it could be worse. Nothing that major is going on at work and I guess I needed a holiday so I should be happy I guess.

I've decided that I need a bit of a plan for the next couple of days to keep myself from gouging my eyes out so here it is:

To do list:
Watch An Education
Watch The September Issue
Watch Broken Embraces
Watch Brothers
Start doing some scrapbooking
Clean obscenely messy room
Figure out a good, new filing system for documents
Don't scratch pox
Find a new series to watch - just got done with Secret Diary of a Call Girl Season 3
E-mail people
Do my budget
Figure out what summer make-up will be worth treating myself with
Blog daily

Since I'm basically forced to stay in my room with no entertainment other than that of the internet and my laptop I might as well blog. About stuff. Like maybe what I'm up to for the day. Or ooh, maybe I could do a daily recap like, "Chickenpox Quarantine: Day 1". K good idea. I am a genius! Well not really it took me about 3 days to figure out that I had the chickenpox even though my colleague sitting behind me has been home sick with it for two weeks. Good one.

It's March already?

I don't know why but it's like 2010 was yesterday and now it's March. I mean seriously! It's not like I was even doing anything interesting in January or February. Speaking of, haven't been out with any other dudes lately. BUT I did get an increment and bonus which was NICE. Well it wasn't huge or anything but it was nice to just see mah money kind of increasing, little by little. Though I still feel unbearably poor. But you know, I'm sure there are other people far worse off.

What's new, God, I had like a ton of stuff I wanted to write down and now, like ten days letter I've got nothing. Work is busy because my boss' boss has discovered I'm pretty competent. I'm grateful for the extra work though because work in general was getting too mundane and just too easy. At least its a challenge now, even if I do have to take stuff home.

I watched Alice in Wonderland in 3D with Ching Wen, Laetitia and Yati yesterday. I bought and planned the whole thing and then when both Lae and Yati ended up NOT coming to lunch I was so angry, I had a full blown rage blackout, which for the record I think is really unhealthy. I didn't even tell them how I felt namely because I feel like maybe its just the way that they are and maybe its a Malaysian thing. Which Lae, a French person, has adopted. Seriously I just hate it when people blow off plans or change plans or whatever, without a proper reason. It's just incredibly rude and it shows that they don't respect you or your time. Wow. Can't believe I'm still so angry.

You know what I LOVE and am not mad at. Glee. I love it, my current YouTube routine consists of watching Rachel and Finn's No Air over and over and over:



How good is that? They are just so in love. It's fantasmic.

I must now go and do minutes. Bloody, bloody minutes.

BTW Alice in Wonderland was good, I don't care what the reviews say.

Happy New Year!! My god it's alrady been a freakin' year...

I can't believe an entire year has past since all of the resolutions I made last year. So much has happened it's insane. I worked for half a year at a public relations firm, joined my new job right after in August at the college and figured out a bit more about myself and yet I'm still not completely sure what I want out of life. So - in order to sort of sort out myself a bit more I thought I'd take a look at last year's resolutions and put down my new ones for this year.

So starting with last year, they were:

1. Do yoga, or at least the breathing bit, everyday to prevent me from losing my mind. Yeah no that didn't happen and now can't because I have a slip disc. It's ok since I hate yoga anyway.

2. Submit a story for the The MPH - Alliance Bank National Short Story Prize 2008, due by the end of March 2009. Nope. Didn't happen. I'll do it next year- promise!

3. Do at least one voice over recording audition. I can't! It's in my job contract that I can't.

4. Save RM I-can't-say-on-the-internet by the end of the year. A few thousand short.

5. Smile, even when I don't feel like it. I do this everyday.

6. Understand that the grass isn't greener on the other side. Made good progress on this.

7. Don't judge and don't be self righteous, people are people and I am as fallible as the next person. I'm still pretty self-righteous. Because I am right.

8. Dance like a madwoman. Can't do that so much anymore... but will make it there.

9. Sing out loud. Check.

So for this year I've decided I'm going to keep it short simple and achievable.

1. Figure out what I want to do in life (in relation to my career) and do it.

2. Lose 12 lbs because these love handles are not going anywhere by positive thinking.

3. Make some progress in the manfriend department.

See? Simple.

Tired

I'm feeling exhausted today. Like bone tired. I don't know why though. Maybe because I've only been sleeping 7 hours instead of 8 which sounds ridiculous, I know. The other thing is I guess its because this last weekend I didn't do any sort of resting. At all. I basically just like did stuff. I think I'm one of those people that needs a "lying on your ass" day. Because it's my day to recharge and watch TV and not have to talk to anyone. Which is so nice.

Instead here I am at work. Counting down the minutes. Because I'm so bloody tired. My lunch mate couldn't make it today and I could manage was a Subway sub of the day - which I took back to the office, locked myself in a pantry and ate, while hunched over a backdated issue of Glamour.

What's new and interesting in my life? Not much. Although apparently, from a pretty unreliable source, one of the students here finds me "hot". Nice, eh? I was all like, please, that's disturbing, don't tell me their name. Of course I'm totally psyched about it and secretly hope its that hot multiracial kid with a nice body. But don't tell them.

K I'm off... to count down the minutes till I can clock out. Ciao.

Oh an and early Happy Diwali in case this weekend gets psychotic with the Open House we're throwing.

I'm back. I swear.

So updates. The last time I wrote I was lonely at my new job and had no one to eat with. Now, a mere month later, I now boast a regular lunch mate. Who was as lonely as me. So we aren't exactly on the same wavelength, what with her being a whole 12 years older to me and having two kids but it's nice having someone to eat with. Even if she does ask me inane questions sometimes. All the time.

What else is new? Deepavali or Diwali as they say in North India, is coming up so it's all systems GO! in my house, especially in terms of cleaning. So far I've oiled our leather sofas and I'm waiting for more directives from my mother. I also cannot fit into any of my Indian clothes which bring me to the next thing I've been up to.

Recently, because I had to do a physical for my new job I found out I weighed like 58kg. I'm only 4'11". That is rather overweight. Still I'm one of those fortunate people who packs on the pounds everywhere as opposed to in my ass so I guess I should be grateful. I've decided to be proactive about the whole situation and join a gym. The gym of my choice? The hip-tastic Celebrity Fitness. I know, it's not exactly me and it's seriously flourescent, shiny and silver and everyone walks around in these ridonkulous purple outfits. But it's really close to home and the parking lot is relatively safe so whatever. The day I went there to sign up the marketing lady/girl/whatever was like, you're overweight, you should weigh like 46kg. I was like NO, I will not EVER weigh 46kg because the only time I did I was anorexic. And then she gave me this patronizing smile and was like No dear, you don't understand you'll be all toned up and you'll see. I was maybe about to smash her face. But I didn't so no worries. In any case the trainer during free personal training sessions was more realistic and said I should weigh about 50-52kg. I will report back soon or as and when I lose weight.

I'm making full use of my workplace's library. So far I've read Austen's Emma and Trisha Ashley's The Urge to Jump. Emma was actually really annoying because I think that Emma is an extremely annoying character, she's just really sure of herself and self-righteous when she's WRONG. And The Urge to Jump is alright, a little hard to relate to because I'm not an almost forty, 6 foot tall, fantasy author lady woman but it was cute. Lae also lent me The Lovely Bones, which was really good actually. I can't wait for Peter Jackson's adaptation and I definitely think that Saoirse Ronan's an amazingly good choice for who should play Susie. But my verdict is definitely out on Mark Wahlberg playing her dad. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I walk alone...

I recently started working at a college... I can't say which one because - of sheer paranoia. In any case, I was really excited before I started because it's a great opportunity for me to test out whether I like working in an environment with kids (old kids) and also if I'm really into the whole academic scene. It also has more definite working hours which is a relief compared to the world of public relations.

So far I've worked about three days and it's okay. The work is fine, everyone is cordial, me and my boss need some time to get used to each other I think. But there is one BIG downside. I literally have NO ONE to eat lunch with. I dunno if it's because they're cliquey or maybe there needs to be more time for me to get to know everyone but I'm definitely feeling the chill - at least during lunch time.

Which means I can either A) eat in the tiny-flickering-light pantry or B) actually go out in public and eat alone. For the first time in my life. Which is crazy, I know. But I think I can do it. I've been psyching myself up all weekend. Because I really don't want to eat in that damn pantry, it's seriously claustrophobia causing.

I've also decided I will eat lunch alone and read a book. Because I don't think i can stare at people for an hour, I'll just freak out or something. This is going to be hard.

So wish me luck.

HONG KONG!

Last week I visited Hong Kong and my university roommate Priscilla. It was a good time that involved walking, shopping and eating. Actually that pretty much sums up the entire visit.

The vacation itself was a little present to myself before I started my new job - yes I have a job! It's at a college here in Malaysia, don't think I can write the name here but I'm super excited because not only do I have a job, it's in education!

So for my first night, Priscilla's parents took me to Czarina where I ate half of my pepper steak serving. And then ate the rest two hours later Cilla's house...

For the second day Priscilla took me walking on authentic HK street, I also had pantyhose tea with my lunch, went to a monastery and ate at Northpoint at a place that was featured on Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations". Oh I also bought a dress at Zara because I got really sweaty and then I got really shy and basically needed new clothes.


On my third day, we watched UP in the morning and then I basically shopped. I bought a compact mirror (didn't have one), a loose vest thing which I think will be useful for work and a gorgeous gold skirt from Club Monaco. I'd never even walked into that store before and I'm super excited to own my new skirt. I also had dinner with Preetha's friend Yvonne, whom I met a couple of years ago during a visit to London. We ate at Crystal Jade which is amazingly tasty.

On my last day, we went over to Kowloon where I bought presents for family and friends and a really flattering top for myself from Muji. We also had dinner at an Argentinean Steak House where we ate sausages, it was great :)

My 3 favorite things about Hong Kong have got to be:
1. IFC Mall - seriously, it's super convenient, has awesome shopping and everyone looks super good in their office wear during lunch time
2. HK's Transportation system - fantastically efficient
3. Egg tart - Priscilla took me for this amazing egg tart thing that I still can't get out of my head - I want!


I'm really happy I went and since it was after June '09 it also meant that I kept to my promise to myself that I wasn't going to get on a plane for a year. Wonder when and where I'll be visiting next...?